Hooked On You
by Sugary Snicket
Summary: Hooky meets the girl of his dreams and dates her, but things go horribly wrong for him! Revised and now has NO CHATROOM conversation for the first chapter. A good example of the rare breed of short story that is a twoshot... or so the story goes.
1. Chapter 1

_Okay, "Hooked on You" is back, I had some problems because of "No Chatscript" rule. So, This is now chapter one, and this story now has two chapters only. Sorry, administrator. Is it better now? Reviewers will have to start all over. I'm sorry._

_Disclaimer: I totally DON'T own ASOUE, Fernald, The Veritable French Diner, Lemony Snicket, the song "Brick House" or Halloween Town (oh, sorry, different fanbase. )_

_Claimer: I own Marylin, Ok? So don't even THINK about trying to use her for your own sick, twisted purposes._

This is the story of a guy, a girl, and... something else I forgot.

But let's cut to the chase, shall we?

So, here I am, standing just outside of the resteraunt in the snow, looking for this 'chikyhooks' girl. She had told me to meet her in front of the Veritable French Diner at 8:00, and it was 8:30 now. I had figured that she was running late, but I still wondered if she had even remembered. _What if she lives in another city?_ I thought. _Or country? Or universe? Okay, Fernald, that last thought was just plain rediculous._ I mentally smacked my head for even thinking that.

I felt rather silly standing there in my tuxedo. I had never liked it much; I always felt like a penguin in it. But, then again, I _was_ trying to impress someone, so... Besides, Esme wouldn't let me leave the house without it on, because she said it was 'in', and because they probably wouldn't have let me in if I didn't have it on.

It was now 8:31, and there was still no sign of anyone besides myself with hooks for appendages. Disappointed, I started back towards my car.

"Hey!"

Hearing this, I spun around to see where it had come from... and found myself looking at one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. No, seriously. I'm not even joking around. You've heard the song "Brick House", right? That song discribes her pretty darn well. She had raven black hair, hypnotic brown eyes, pale skin, and she wore all black. I'm telling you, she was a serious goth gal: Heavy metal chains and crosses, heavy black make-up, a black widow slave bracelet on one hand, and an elaboarately decorated silver hook for the other.

"Hey," she said again, eyeing me up and down. She smiled (if you can imagine a goth chick smiling) at me and asked, "Are you 'captainhooks'?"

"Yeah," I said, snapping out of dream world and back into realtity land. "Yeah. Are you 'chikyhooks'?"

"None other," she replied. "I'm Marylin. With a 'y', not an 'i'. Nice to meet you. What's your name?"

"Uh... Fernald?"

She giggled. (again, if you can imagine a goth girl giggling.)

"Again, nice to meet you, Uh-Fernald."

"Could you drop the 'uh', please?"

"Of course."

She held out her hand (Yes, her HAND, _not _her HOOK) for me to take, which I gladly did, and in that way, we entered the resteraunt and into one of the best - and worst - nights of my life.

_Hooky's night seems to be going well so far. How could it possibly get worse? Hey, this is ASOUE, **ANYTHING** can happen! Please review, and I might write more._


	2. Chapter 2

_Okay, it's done. It's over. This is the last chapter of "Hooked On You". Yeah, I know that this was a short story, and I can't believe it's over so soon, but this is only two chapters long. I myself thought it'd be a little more lengthy than this, but then again, there's always room for error._

_Disclaimer: I have and never will own Fernald, Olaf, Esme, the Veritable French Diner, or any other ASOUE person, place, or thing, so you and I both might as well get over it._

We entered the resteraunt which, to my great surprise, was not that busy. A shady-looking man in a trenchcoat sat in a corner reading the newspaper and eyeing us suspiciously. The entire place was bathed in romantic candlelight, and there was some slightly annoying, but sweet accordion music playing in the background.

Nervous about how to break the ice, I sat down at our table - or, at least I _tried_ to, for as I sat, I lost my balance and fell on the floor, glancing to my left, I realized that I had totally missed the chair. Marylin giggled quietly, then extended her hook to help me up.

"Are you okay?" she asked me.

"Yeah," I said, slightly abashed. "I'm fine now."

Marylin blushed. _Wow,_ I thought, _is she ever cute when she does that!_

The waiter came to our table, gave us menus, and suggested different wines to us. We both suggested the house special that night, not knowing exactly what to order yet, and I, not knowing what most of the items on the menu even were, had to ask Marylin for help. (Thankfully, she spoke French) I ordered some type of fancy steak, whilst Marylin ordered a chicken breast, corden bleu-style. The waiter jotted down the order and left us.

"So," I said five minutes later, "You like... chicken?"

"Yes," Marylin said, playing with her spider slave bracelet. "I'm not so big into red meat."

"Oh, so you're one of those health nuts." _Oh God,_ I thought, _I must have just seriously insulted her!_

Indeed, it would seem so, due to the fact that she had a sudden look of shock on her face. But then, to my surprise, she smiled and said "You might say that. I'm trying to cut down on fatty red meats."

"Oh," I said, feeling like a jerk.

"No, no, it's okay. It was only a friendly question."

The waiter returned with our order, and at that same moment, things went from bad to worse to horrible, for at that moment, Olaf and his girlfriend Esme entered and sat at the table across from us. Why, of all nights, had my boss chosen TONIGHT to take his girlfriend out to dinner?

The man with the newspaper glanced over at the two suspiciously. He continued to stare as I picked miserably at my steak.

The waiter just so happened to notice the two villains as well, so he went over to them.

_Oh crap,_ I thought. _DON'T SAY IT. Not here._

"Is there anything I may get for you tonight?" The waiter inquired, glaring at Olaf suspiciously. I cut and ate my steak, watching the scene unfold like a bad horror movie.

"Yes," Olaf said in an innocent-sounding tone (Although I knew his true motives). "I would like..."

_Oh. NO._

"Tea..."

_Please, I BEG OF YOU!_

"...With sugar."

At this, the waiter and trenchcoat man gasped in shock, then pounced on Olaf and Esme. AND MARYLIN WAS WATCHING. I had _never,_ in all my life, been so embarassed.

"HOOKY! HELP ME!" Olaf shouted, grappling with the waiter.

"Hooky?" Marylin asked.

All I could do was sit in my seat, horrifed and too abashed to move as Marylin and I watched in shock.

"Uhm, perhaps we should leave?" I asked, staring down at our half-finished dinners.

Marylin nodded, grabbed some boxes for us, and rapidly packed up our food. We downed our champaigne and left.

We walked home that night, because Olaf had apparently taken my car, and Marylin lived very nearby, so she had walked to the resteraunt. And it was raining, no less. Fortunately, Marylin had an umbrella with her, so we didn't get too wet.

"Marylin," I said, "I'm sorry about... tonight. Really I am."

"It's okay," she responded, "Actually, this is one of the most exciting dates I've ever been on. It isn't your fault that your boss ruined your date. I totally understand." She paused to brush the hair out of her eyes. "It happens all the time. That's probably why I'm single." She smiled at me. "Oh, here's my house."

We had come to the corner of Blanchtree Boulevard and Seastone Street where her house was located.

"Thanks for walking me home," Marylin said modestly. "And for a great night." She took her food and then leaned over and did something totally unexpected.

She kissed me.

I felt shocked, yet oddly happy at the same time. "See ya around, hooky," she said with a wink, and with that, she walked into her house. Yeah, I was outside in the rain and getting soaking wet and terribly cold, but inside I felt very warm inside. Smiling, I proceeded to walk down the street and back to my boss's house.

"So, M, how did the date go?"

"Wonderfully, Sir."

"And you met this agent of O's?"

"Yes, Sir."

"Well, tell me, what was he like?"

I related my story of the entire night to the VFD leader.

"Oh, I see," L said. "Chicken Corden Bleu? You went to the Veritable French Diner."

"Yes."

"Get any information on O and E?"

"L, this was supposed to be my night off. But there were two agents who distracted the villains for me. My date seemed embarrassed, though."

L smiled.

"Hey, stuff happens, M."

Of course I didn't reveal the walk home to him. L thought that I was getting information. Oh, I was getting information, alright. Yeah, so I was in love with an enemy agent. Oh well. Love knows no bounds, and I knew that L would have a cow if I told him.

"Yeah, stuff happens."

_Yeah, so I ended it lamely. Bet you didn't expect Marylin to be a VFD agent, though! I got y'all there! (Does victory dance) Okay, enough. Please read and review! I have two other ASOUE fanfics I'm working on, and "Shattered" is still going strong. (In fact, it's garnering far too many reviews!) Hopefully those will be up soon, although I have recently gotten a plot base for one NMBC songfic called "Right Here". Hopefully, that'll be up sometime this Summer. Have a great day, and please come again! XD_


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